First of all I apologize to myself for being so distracted that I ended up not writing for last 3 months. But better now than never right?? Last night I made an attempt to make ‘Chicken Shami Kebabs’, a recipe I have been thinking to cook for sometime now for a variety of reasons. My son loves chicken, my husband loves kebabs and he makes world’s best cilantro chutney/salsa(people who have tasted his recipe have asked us to start a business out of it) that would go perfectly with kebabs and I like to challenge myself from time to time when it comes to cooking. See in the perfect world of culinary arts, I stand at the very end of the line INVISIBLE. I was always surrounded by people who would cook these delicious delicacies for me all the time – my lovely mom, my husband, my mother-in-law, sometimes my father and my younger sister too, my sister-in-law and last but definitely not the least my backbone in the kitchen our cook Rita. Back in India, I had the luxury to have Rita in my life who tolerated me, fought with me but stayed with me for almost a decade never expecting me to learn a single thing from her. I knew coming to the USA would mean the end of that luxury. Trust me when I say this, I miss family and friends from time to time but I truly miss Rita everyday. She was my genie in the bottle.

Enough about how I didn’t like to cook. I am cooking now at-least 4 days a week and proud to say doing a decent job at it. Rita would be so proud of me and shocked too but more proud I guess! So coming back to our kebabs alright. I did make them very patiently, took me good 3 hours to. But it was not a happy story throughout. When I started frying the first batch of patties or kebabs, they broke into pieces and my heart sank and I am not exaggerating. My heart sank and I was disappointed. My husband who was simultaneously making the chutney, was watching me feeling all stupid about myself. I went back and forth on the webpage from where I was following the recipe and trying to figure out what did I do wrong. My husband figured out what was messing with my uncooked kebabs and he was right about the reason. I listened to him, did what I was not doing and got beautiful and delicious kebabs that all of us thoroughly enjoyed.

It may sound like, but I am not writing to talk about the kebabs or how I came out a champion at the end. While I was making those kebabs, I had an epiphany of sorts. Lately(read last 3 months), I have been contemplating few things here and there and getting distracted a lot by all sorts of things around me. Activities that serve me no purpose at the end of the day, zeal-sucking people with no purpose in life and most importantly I, Me, Myself. Yes, I have been trying to conquer so many things at once that I lost the track of my destination and in the process not enjoying the journey. I stopped writing, stopped working-out and started chasing everything.

When those kebabs came out looking all good, I thought why did I ever stop writing? For I was running after things that held no significance at all. When did I stop giving writing a chance to make me happy? For all I know when I write, I connect with myself. And I was doing the exact opposite, connecting with the world while feeling disconnected with self. Making those kebabs and the fact that I am writing right now is all magical and surreal. All these months, my husband constantly advocated that I should get back to writing while trying to accomplish few other things as writing is what he thinks I am really good at but I was foolish enough to ignore his suggestion. So first thing I did today this morning was get a cup of coffee and started writing. Oh feels good or what!

The crux of this post is – There will be times when all of us feel disconnected with ourselves, trying to stay happy while chasing things we don’t really need, trying to be someone and be with someone who are so toxic that they will doubt every little idea or purpose of your life. Don’t be disheartened, it happens to the best of us. What all of us simply need is constant support from someone who loves you for who you are and knows what you are capable of, some fruitful activity running in the background and an epiphany – maybe not the kebab kinds but your own kind. Of the many things and people I wasted my time on, working on my patio garden that is so beautiful and a long trip to LA were definitely not one of them. I was lucky I had those things. Ever so grateful to the kebab epiphany and this thing I read – Most people never start because they don’t want to be seen starting from the bottom. Don’t be most people. I am done being MOST people.

Till you all figure out what works for you best, drool over these chicken shami kebabs. Cheers to a positive and happy life!


Reposting article from originally published on 08/06/2017