Long ago, I happened to encounter this status – ‘Carpe Diem’ on my friend’s girlfriend’s Facebook wall and I admit it unabashedly that at point of my life I didn’t have a clue about what it meant so I quickly googled it. Carpe Diem as we all (innocent mortals like me) now know is a phrase given by Roman poet Horace, meaning “Pluck the day” literally and translated as “Seize the day”. I could very well relate with the status then as I am one of those people who have lived their whole life with that attitude even without knowing what Carpe Diem meant. But that was like ages ago when it was just about my husband and I having our successful careers, a lovely home, lots of trips abroad, lots of socializing and not having to deal with any grave decisions that required introspection.
Time-Travel to 2013 and parenthood knocked our door. We were happier and so was everyone around us. Circa 2016, we moved to US and I am now a stay at home mom with an adorable three-year-old son. Stay at home mom, that part is right but not a one with drying spirit. So, when I met other SAHMs who are now my friends, I was taken aback a little. Not only have they enclosed themselves in this shell called Stay-at-home-Motherhood, but they almost refuse to do anything about it. What they do not refuse to do, is complain about how there is no time for them to even make a trip to the gym that is a part of the luxury apartments we live in so one can guess that it’s 2-3 mins walk, but they surely want to lose all the post-pregnancy weight, now that it’s high time.
No, I don’t expect us all to share the same amount of enthusiasm for life on daily basis, but if we SAHMs want to make the most of the little time we have in a day, we need to start taking baby steps.
- Get out of your “My husband’s friends are my friends” zone. Yes, a lot of SAHMs that I have met don’t have any friends of their own that they would go shopping or dining with. They invite their husband’s friend’s family for dinner, get burned out after making dinner and then yes, crib about it again. First step, get your own friends by introducing yourself to different social events and fun and creative activities that does not involve your husband or anyone from his circle of friend.
- Trust your husband to look after your child while you are gone for some me-time. Me-time could be anything from hitting gym, to finally getting your facial done, that has been due for ages to just going out for a lunch or dinner with your friend. When a child is born, not only a mother but a father is also born. The more trust you show in your husband with respect to taking care of your child (that you created together, remember…), the more your relationship with your husband gets stronger and I for one can certainly vouch for that.
- Indulge in some activity, could be really anything. I always wanted to write and I am doing exactly that from some time now and nothing in this world charges my battery better than penning down a beautiful article. Dig down deep into all those slam-book memories where you answered “Things you are passionate about” and pick one passion and start working. No, it doesn’t mean one needs to do it daily, by indulging I meant picking an activity that cheers you up and sticking to that routine. I have realized that people are happy when they have some semblance of control of their lives.
- Also, if you want to make some money as you have some time when your child is at school, there are infinite opportunities available online to work from home. Right from simple data entry jobs to heaps of freelancing jobs in almost every single domain. Nothing gives a better satisfaction than having some financial independence, right??? Especially, when you used to be financially independent before you became a SAHM.
So, all you lovely SAHMs out there, when you wake up tomorrow, don’t rely on your cup of coffee to get you going. Waking up is so much more than just sipping a cup of coffee or getting breakfast ready for your family. When you wake up, think about one thing that you would like to accomplish for your me-time for that day and work towards it gradually. And soon ‘Carpe Diem’ would no longer be just a phrase you read in this article or in some book, but a phrase you have learnt to implement in your life. Seize the day ladies!